Christmas Mania

This time of year can be emotional and stress provoking. The business of making our gift list, checking it twice, planning Christmas parties, baking cookies, purchasing food, making ornaments, buying and wrapping presents and, horror of horrors, going to the post office to mail packages far and wide to friends and relatives.

Each year the dreaded trip to the post office to mail cumbersome packages, evokes feelings of loathing. My recent encounters with the United States Postal Service were no different. I chose a post office that is usually not crowded, a unique phenomena at this time of year. I arrived promptly at 1:30 PM, opening time after the lunch break. Balancing three bulky packages, I struggled through the front door and was disappointed to see the postal windows closed with a sign saying it would reopen at 2:15PM. After mumbling a few choice cuss words, I made my way back to my car, reloaded the packages and headed to the next post office.

Total deja vu as I again gathered the packages and made my way through yet another front door to be greeted by an all too familiar scene…a long line of similarly afflicted humans waiting to be called forward to the one, yes only one clerk that was seemingly oblivious to the length of the waiting line and our mutually shared anxiety and stress.

So, I dutifully waited my turn and was pleasantly entertained by the young woman directly in front of me. She was the epitome of an efficient packaging artist in its purest form. I watched fascinated as she gathered mailing envelopes and proceeded to fill out all necessary forms, recycled mailing labels into graphic art with the names of the recipients beautifully arranged and decorated and then trimmed with her own personal pair of scissors that she fished from the depths of her voluminous purse. She inserted her gifts into the package, made several adjustments to her liking and was still working diligently on her project when I decided to bail from the line and take my chances using the self-service machine.

Machines are always a challenge for me. The pressure is on when you step up to that area of the post office. There were two people in front of me and before long there were others behind us. My anxiety level climbed as I moved closer to my turn at weighing and printing the postage labels for my packages. These machines intimidate me and I frequently seek a young person to assist me but today I was very lucky. Another post office person was circulating in the area assisting people as needed. And boy did I need it. It wasn’t difficult but it is time-consuming  because there is a lot of reading and selecting throughout the whole process. After completing the entry for three packages, the machine told me that my credit card would only allow two self-service transactions so the whole third package was not completed. I ended my session and began again to repeat the information for my third package and reentering my credit card. In essence I was fooling the machine and my bank card, but by this time I was determined to complete the task of getting those blasted packages out of my possession and into the post office delivery schedule so they could begin their journey to their respective destinations.

The entire time I was in mortal combat with the mailing/package machine, I could feel the many eyes of other frantic patrons behind me burning into my back urging me onward to a speedy conclusion of my encounter. With the third package successfully labeled with the appropriate postage tag, I tried to put it in the mail chute and it wouldn’t fit! I carried it to the circulating  clerk who assured me she would get it to the mail room for me. Each step was challenging.

My parting words to her as well as to my fellow postal patrons were ” I am totally exhausted and feel like I have just birthed a 10 pound baby!” I survived my post office mission, but unfortunately I have two more packages to mail so Monday I’ll be repeating the annual battle to send gifts to loved ones as an acknowledgement of how very thankful I am to have them in my life.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!!

 

Me Too

Another Women’s movement has been spreading across America and this one has been a long time coming.  January 21, 2017,  women, and many men who support and love them, took to the streets all across America to march in protest of the sexual predator who currently occupies the people’s house, America’s Big House. And now the “Me Too” movement was recently named Time Magazine’s Person of the Year. It seems that women have finally had enough…enough of the fear each woman wears as a cloak as she traverses her life.

This is something that men just don’t get…the fear of walking to a car in a parking lot at night,  the indignity of cat calls and wolf whistles as you are trying to walk down a sidewalk in broad daylight, the innuendos, suggestive comments, unwanted touching. It isn’t their fault. They aren’t female and have no reference, no yardstick by which to judge. Women live with all of these and more on a daily basis and we are fed up and finally (better late than never) finding our voices and saying…no yelling…no screaming…enough is ENOUGH!!

I have always wondered how any male can justify tolerating or voting for anyone who not only is accused but has admitted to predatory behavior. This is a slap in the face to your daughters, your Mother, your sisters, girlfriends, your grandmothers. When you cast that vote, it is the same as saying “I not only don’t understand what you are feeling but I don’t care”. Small wonder that women across America, and the world, are up in arms.

Every woman has a story, most have more than one, about being confronted with uncomfortable situations and feeling powerless to do anything about it.  Let me be absolutely clear…women do NOT find any of these things flattering. They are offensive, demeaning and decidedly threatening.

This coming January 2018, the resistance will be walking again. Not just women, but men and children, young and old all exercising their right to protest the degradation of our norms. Marching side by side, just as humans, wanting fairness, kindness, and peace. Millions will be participating in cities across America doing what Americans do best….exercising our rights under a democratic government.

Me too!!!!

Battle Fatigue

I, like millions of Americans, am exhausted and fatigued by the constant attack on my peace of mind. The continued angst and anger created, where none need exist, simply because of incompetence, ignorance or simple greed. I am tired. I want to give up. I find myself limiting my exposure to news stories because I know the emotions these stories elicit may be raising my stress level. This morning when my phone and computer would not bring up the internet, I worried that perhaps some horrible nuclear event had happened that had taken the internet down. It made me nervous but also made me realize how much a part of my life is consumed by interactions with social media and how much it is used as a conduit for information in today’s world.

I wonder how any “Christian” could approve of taking healthcare from millions of people, depriving 9 million children of food and healthcare (CHIP), raising taxes on the poor to give the top 20% of the rich more tax breaks, or prefer an alleged pedophile as a seated Senator over a candidate whose only crime is being a Democrat. I marvel that innocent people are still being murdered with guns everyday in America yet nothing is done to “fix” the problem other than to offer up “thoughts and prayers”. I believe that our forefathers would be aghast at what we have become as a nation. And yes, I believe that we are seeing the end of democracy as we know it and America may be in the waning years of its dominance as a world power and is beginning its journey to an autocracy. And the first part of that journey has already been put into motion.

 

It begins with the disparaging comments directed at the media, planting the seeds of doubt in a gullible or apathetic population. Hitler did this in Germany calling the media the lying press or ‘Lügenpresse’. It continues with daily assaults on norms and values that shock our senses until finally we become numb to the horribleness before us. Slowly it wears us down and we seek to escape the assault  and begin to tune it all out. Friends don’t understand our emotional, visceral response and perhaps pull away from us. We have become isolated and alone with our battle against the attack on norms and if it doesn’t affect us, we might slowly accept the changes and little by little the erosion of freedoms we enjoy.

I worry that if those amongst us who have conspired with a foreign nation to steal an entire Presidential election (treason in every sense of the word) will escape punishment. We have drifted as a nation from equal justice under the law to harsher punishments for the poor and a slap on the hand for the rich. This is a downward spiral toward kleptocracy and sows the seeds of rebellion in any nation. Wikipedia defines Kleptocracy (from Greek κλέπτης kléptēs, “thief”, κλέπτω kléptō, “I steal”, and -κρατία -kratía from κράτος krátos, “power, rule”) is a government with corrupt leaders (kleptocrats) that use their power to exploit the people and natural resources of their own territory in order to extend their personal wealth and political power. Typically this system involves embezzlement of funds at the expense of the wider population.[1][2 This could be describing the Republican 2017 Tax Bill, for it clearly benefits corporations and the wealthy on the backs of hardworking middle America. This is a class war that is reigning debt on our children and grandchildren with little hope of digging out of the ever-deepening crevasse of debt. Whatever happened to “Love thy neighbor as thy self?” If Republicans are the party of conservatism and Christian values, then please let me be among those snowflakes that believe in equality for all.

It’s been a long time coming but the Nothingburger is definitely becoming a Russianburger and with four indictments and two guilty pleas, perhaps we are on our way to correcting the wrongs that are being inflicted on the American people, our World Neighbors, and Mother Nature. We can only hope.

Changes

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Fall on Lady Bird Lake

Twelve years ago I sold my home in another city, packed my belongings and moved my entire life to Austin. I was happy to put everything in my rear view mirror and begin a new adventure. Everything was different….finding new doctors, checking out grocery stores, learning a complex computer system at work, establishing relationships with co-workers, and making new friends were but a few of the “new” in my life. I wasn’t young when I made this life-changing transition so each fresh challenge was stressful. While I was undergoing all of this change, I had no way of knowing if my decision would be a good one or a bad one. Only time would tell. Hindsight is always 20/20 but after twelve years now in Austin, I can unequivocally acknowledge that I overwhelmingly made the right decision. Everything about my move here has only reaffirmed my decision. But the road to happiness and a peaceful existence wasn’t without growing pains along the way.

Recently my family was tasked with making a life changing decision for a family loved one. At 85 years young, this was a huge life-altering decision. No longer able to live independently, and acknowledging the need for him to be closer to family members who could be his health care advocates, it was mutually agreed by all that a move was necessary.

The sheer logistics of a move from one city to another can be exhausting…arranging furniture movers, stopping and starting utilities, change of address notifications complicated by disorientation made worse by short-term memory issues.

The most difficult part for me was seeing my loved one through different eyes. One time strong, vibrant, extremely intelligent and competent in all situations and now diminished by the aging process to needing assistance in all areas of ADL’s. The saddest part is that he recognizes that he has some issues and is striving with grace and dignity to accept new living arrangements and changes in everything he knows.

We traveled this Thanksgiving to San Diego to visit family and for a few short days, we tried to experience a symbolic return to earlier family gatherings…the traditional meal offerings, a little sightseeing and birding at Cabrillo National Monument and Point Loma, and watching old scary movies reminiscent of our youth.

End of life decisions are so emotionally ridden and each of us will face changes as we age. Our loved one planned extremely well and is financially secure. Combined with the support of family, we are hopeful that he will be able to have the highest quality of life possible for however much time he has left in a life well-lived.

Wishing all a Happy Life!!!

A Tally of Things lost to Date

I want to keep track. I think it is important to know just how many things have been ripped from the fabric of America…just how many travesties have been thrust upon our Constitution, our environment and how many civil liberties are being trounced by our Liar-in-Chief.

–The Rule of Law – ignoring a judicial ruling of guilty by pardoning Sheriff Joe Arpaio

–Climate change denial – Cuts to EPA and  FEMA  in the wake of two devastating  hurricanes and raging wildfires in the West

–Comparing the KKK, Neo Nazis and White  Supremacists as being the same as protesters

–The guarantee of clean water, free of chemical  dumps and clean air being threatened…  reference the Arkema chemical site pouring  toxic waste into the environment as just one example.

–Sanctioning and admiring autocrats with a history of murdering their opposition. Like Putin &  Duterte

–The decrease in tourism in the United States – In 7 months the loss of ~37 billion in tourism  dollars

–Crops rotting in the fields for lack of immigrants to harvest them

–The loss of prestige as being the indisputable leader of the free world

–The continued assault on the free media. Dividing our nation with fake news leading to a loss  of confidence in our government

–The normalization and acceptance of lying and prevarication second to none in the history of  our country. Estimated lies over first 227 days of presidency are 1,114.

–A different set of rules for Republicans than for Democrats – the steadfast refusal of Republicans to give Merrick Garland a hearing just because he was nominated by Obama and using a lame excuse of it being an election year. Yet they have blinders on about the ongoing criminal investigation into the Trump administration and his associates.

–Devos ending Obama’s Title IX rules for investigating college campus sexual assaults

–Direct violation of the Emolument Clause of the Constitution. – Trump and his children    continue to profit and are receiving monies indirectly to bolster their own personal wealth

–Ordering a ban on transgender personnel in the military and using the excuse of it being cost  prohibitive. When compared, the cost of Viagra and erectile dysfunction treatment for male  military personnel is far in excess ($84 million compared to $8.4 million annually) of transgender  expenses. I am also certain that there are many, many more that I have not listed here.

And personally, I have had the painful loss of a relationship with one of my sisters. All of the others only affect me indirectly…my life really isn’t impacted that much simply because I am an older white educated female with a good job, children who love me and I know they will step up to the plate and help me if needed. But the loss of a sister relationship is a gut punch. I’ve tried to mend those broken fences, but just as I pulled away after the 2016 Presidential election because of depression and my own inability to be around those who voted this horrible human being into the Presidency, I can only assume that she may be in much the same place right now as I was then. The pain is great and I hope that some day, before one of us departs this world, we can once again laugh and bathe in the camaraderie of sisterhood.

 

Resist!!!!

 

 

Wire Cutters and A Mule

Downtown Houston

I am a native Houstonian. Born, raised and lived there the majority of my life. I have survived hurricanes with names like Carla, Allison, and Rita plus a myriad of other storms that perhaps didn’t grow large enough to meet hurricane standards and were relegated to tropical depression status. The one thing they all have in common is the potential to affect the quality of life for the small inconsequential humans who happen to exist in their pathway. I moved to Austin about 12 years ago and my up-close-and- personal encounters with angry storms have diminished. And then came Harvey.

Downtown Austin and the Boardwalk on LadyBird Lake

For four days within the confines of my safe, dry, well stocked condo, I watched the rain pound Ladybird Lake, the looming clouds scud slowly by and the persistent squalls of rain drenching Austin. I never lost power from the winds, so I watched the tragedy unfold before me through television video clips. And as I watched, I cried. I couldn’t stop crying when I witnessed the absolute destruction of a city I love and witnessed the horrible struggles of the innocent people battling to survive torrential rains and flooding. Houston has weathered many storms throughout a colorful history but never before has an American city experienced a year’s worth of rain in excess of 52 inches within a four-day period… an event that is impossible to imagine and totally beyond anyone’s expectations.

Houston will survive and rebuild stronger than before because it is a lumbering unstoppable behemoth of a city bent on surviving, but also because it must. The “Chemical Coast” that encompasses a large portion of the Texas/Louisiana coastline, provides huge amounts of petrochemicals that fuel the lives of Americans everywhere. A monster storm interrupts that well-oiled machine that churns out all sorts of products that fuel our life “needs” and it makes us aware of our dependence on many things that make our lives so comfortable. Without electricity, no air conditioning, no lights, no power for toasters, hair dryers, washing machines. Without electricity, no power to pump water through miles of pipe into our homes to deliver drinking water, water for ice making, water for bathing, flushing toilets. Without electricity, gas pumps don’t pump gas so if your car is empty, you will be walking or hitching a ride from a neighbor. Without electricity, the food inside our refrigerators and freezers spoils. And the list goes on and on. We take so many things for granted each day and one hiccup can make us aware of how quickly it can all disappear.

I know a lot of this from first-hand experience. I remember the fear my parents had when Carla swept through Houston ripping the roof shingles from our home and delivering huge quantities of water in a horizontal attack so fierce that moisture was literally driven under doors and around and through window sills. As an adult, when another “caine” burst upon Houston, our side of the street lost power for two weeks and as we struggled to deal with the heat and the humidity, all of our neighbors across the street had power. The lights from their homes each evening made our pain greater. And when Rita came knocking and a mandatory evacuation of Houston was ordered, I obediently began to travel West to escape her murderous rage. There were thousands upon thousands of us that departed Houston to evade this storm only to be bogged down in traffic, running out of gas, without food or rest on a 12-18 hour journey traversing a mere 75 miles. The evacuation was a disaster itself. People died on the roadways. It is simply impossible to evacuate millions of people from an urban area for a storm that may or may not decide to come your way. The landfall of hurricanes can be unpredictable because these giant water and wind monsters can be capricious.

Any natural disaster or, God forbid, a man-made nuclear disaster, and life as we know it can vanish in a remarkably short time. And then what? What do we absolutely NEED in order to survive? Food, water, shelter, the basics. But how do we escape the concrete jungle if the roadways are bogged down in traffic or gas is unavailable. Growing up in the Cold War era and vividly remembering the Cuban missile crisis, I recalled sage words of wisdom from my Father about how to survive a calamity. With confidence and great clarity, he said “All you need to survive is a good pair of wire cutters and a strong mule.” Something to think about in a world that is teetering on the brink of disaster on an almost daily basis.

My heart bleeds for my beloved home town. Be well Houstonians.

 

The “What IF” Countdown

 

Expressing our great joy at getting stuck in the sand on Matagorda Beach!

For the past 3-4 months I have been experiencing some heart health issues. We aren’t suppose to be aware of our heart beating, it is just supposed to happen. Our heartbeat is a part of our Autonomic Nervous System which does all sorts of things to keep us alive, none of which we have to actively think about…like breathing, digestion or a heart beating. Within a heart there is a “pacemaker” that initiates the heart beat and in turn that electrical signal travels through the heart causing a beat to occur. When the electrical system of the heart goes wonky, we can have extra beats, irregular beats, too slow beats or too fast beats. These are called arrhythmias and they make us aware of our heart beating and although they are rarely fatal, the various symptoms sure can make us uncomfortable. My symptoms had gotten increasingly worse and longer lasting which ultimately led to the placement of a Pacemaker to crack the whip and keep my heart doing its job correctly. I had a two-week period in which to think about all the “what ifs?” What if I don’t survive? Are my affairs in order? Who will clean out my cubicle at work? Who will take in my cats? Stupid worries but worries none the less. Two days before my surgery I decided that I would eat steak and ice cream…all that I wanted…because it may be my last meal. It caused me to reexamine the stress in my life, to look at my world in a more appreciative way, to reexamine relationships and to evaluate just how I would like the rest of my life to be. Self examination is hard work!

Of course I am writing this PPP (post pacemaker placement), so obviously I survived and all that worry and hard work attempting to put my life in order “just in case” was all for naught. But it really wasn’t non-productive because it did energize me to do a myriad of things that should be completed as we age if for no other reason than to help our children deal with the “what ifs”.

I am thankful that I have this new task master I’ve named “Thumper” sitting within my chest as a watchdog for the electrical system within my heart. We live in a marvelous age with medical knowledge and technology which can enable us to live long healthy lives. Have cataracts?…get new “eyeballs”(AKA lens implants), need a new hip or knee?…no problem, get a replacement. Kidneys, liver, or heart failing?….your name can be placed on a transplant list. Yes, medical knowledge has advanced at warp speed and combined with all of the new medications on the market, it is possible to keep our bodies working much longer than our pioneer forefathers would ever have imagined.

All of these advantages should not be taken for granted. They are extenders of our life. Gifts. A chance to build more memories, spend more time with family, take a long-anticipated once-in-a-lifetime trip, listen to the laugh of a baby, feel the sandpapery tongue of a cat on your skin, smell puppy breath, sip a cocktail on a beach while watching the sun sink beneath the surface, read another book by a favorite author, weep through a great movie for the hundredth time, take up a new hobby or just enjoy another trip or two around the sun.

Sweet Bernie

Life is precious. Take time to enjoy every moment. And as the well-known Lee Ann Womack song expresses…”I hope you’ll never lose your sense of wonder….May you never take one single breath for granted….I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean…and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you DANCE!”

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Happy Life!!!